Lenny Ravich
Relationships and Growth

Relationships and Growth

December 31, 2022

Hi Dear Reader:

I’m Lenny Ravich and author of the bestselling book, “Everlasting Optimism” I am also a comical, inspirational keynote speaker in London and Hong Kong. I am 86 and of course, I drive my car a bit slower than I used to.  Last week a biker passed me and screamed some nasty things. I opened my window and yelled, “I love you.” Without turning around, he shouted, “I love you too” and sped away. Just sayin’.

In my last article, I spoke about how giving is receiving. I promised then to continue on how we can facilitate our relationships to grow wiser and more loving.

Being Generous

I once donated a handsome sum of money to my favorite charity which specializes in serving physically and mentally challenged children. I was surprised by an appreciation call from its founder, Mr. K. I was so pleased by his gesture that I offered to entertain his volunteers cost-free.

Upon arriving at this institution, I was given a tour of the premises. I observed the amount of caring and empathy shown to the children. Then the organizer led me to a room where his fifteen-year-old son was waiting. They communicated by tapping each other’s palms with a particular alphabet. You see, his son was both blind and deaf, but could still converse via this special language of touch.

Mr. K later explained to me: “My son was given three immune injections (smallpox, chicken pox and polio) when he was in his tender years. He became deaf and blind as a result. Soon after his infliction, my boy and I studied this hand-tapping language and we converse with each other just fine. That’s the reason I founded this organization for challenged children. It was my way of thanking God for not taking my child from me. He can’t see and can’t hear, but he is still alive.”

Reframing Tragedy

I have a major panic attack when my printer goes on the bum. How one man can reframe a tragedy and turn it into a blessing is almost beyond my comprehension. This episode made me appreciate love and wisdom on a much deeper level. Instead of raging against God for his afflictions, he thanks God for his blessings. I believe that I am a better person for having met Mr. K and his son. But my panic attacks haven’t ceased.

Our Relation to Ourselves

You know, we are also in a relationship with the most important person in the world; ourselves. Do you like being in a relationship with yourself? Except for my panic attacks.  Can you love yourself? We’re all flawed. Get over it.


I try and forgive myself for what I did in the past. That was me then and I am something else now. What I was a year ago is no longer the “me” that I am today. I am present in the new now. Just the writing of these posts has afforded me the opportunity to grow into a new “me.” Except for the panic attacks.

Heaven or Hell

Relationships can be heaven or hell, depending on what we do with them. Our lives, career and health depend on them. Here’s a story you may have heard before:

A fellow dies and finds himself being ushered into a hall. There is a table laid out with elegant food.  As he is being seated, someone comes from behind and straps a thin board along the back of each arm so that he cannot bend his elbows. He tries to partake in some of the delicacies but he cannot reach his mouth with his stretched-out arms. Looking around, he notices that the others are also in the same predicament and are grunting and groaning at their meager condition. I would have a panic attack.

The fellow gets up and goes to the entity who first ushered him in. “This must be hell,” he said. “But then tell me, what does heaven look like?” The creature un-straps his arms and takes him to another hall. There he sees another huge banquet table filled with wonderful nourishments. As he is getting ready to be seated, again someone comes from behind and straps boards to his arms; once more he cannot bend his arms to feed himself. Lamenting that this is the same unsatisfactory situation as before, he looks around to notice that the response in this room is totally different. Instead of wailing at their plight, all are satisfied as each feeds the person seated across the table.

During my funny, inspirational keynotes, I often remind my audiences in London and Hong Kong by quoting the American author Ben Stein: “Personal relationships are the fertile soil from which all advancement, all success, all achievement in real life grows”.

Be well and flourish. See you soon. And don’t panic.


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